Dear younger me.

Dear Me,

I know you’re scared right now. So scared you can barely breathe. Just saying the word “gay” feels like your body might implode. You’ve buried this truth so deep that digging it out feels like death. And in many ways, it is—the death of the life you’ve known, the life you’ve built, the mask you’ve worn for decades.

But let me tell you something that might surprise you: you’re not about to fall apart. You’re about to fall into place.

The fear feels permanent, I know. You worry you’ll lose your wife, your kids, your parents, your friends, your church. You’re terrified that when the truth comes out, everything will unravel.

And yes, things will change. Some of it will hurt. But pain, as you’ll come to learn, is not your enemy. Pain will become your portal. Through it, you will walk into a life so much bigger, so much more alive, than anything you’ve known.

You won’t be alone. In fact, your courage will become a beacon. For your kids. For your community. For yourself. You’ll become a man who not only survives—but thrives. A man who loves freely, who laughs fully, who finds beauty in a bowl of soup and meaning in a song. You’ll rediscover the world as if spring has finally broken through your long winter.

I know you don’t believe this yet, but it’s true: your capacity to heal is limitless. Your ability to love—really love, not perform it—is boundless. And once you stop hiding from yourself, you’ll stop hiding from life. You’ll be reborn—not as someone new, but as someone real.

You will forgive yourself. You will forgive others. You’ll lose the judgment. You’ll shed the shame. You’ll look in the mirror one day and not only see yourself—but know yourself. And damn, you’ll be proud of what you see.

Yes, there will be storms. But you’ve already endured the worst one: a life lived in fear. From here forward, you’re sailing into light. Not without struggle—but with peace. A peace born from authenticity. A peace earned.

And in that peace, you’ll help others. Your story will become someone else’s survival guide. Your voice, once silenced by fear, will ring out in truth. And it will change lives—including your own.

So take that breath. Say the word. Let the truth out.

The world won’t end.

It’s just about to begin.

With all the love in the world,

Your future self

(A free, gay, joyful man—finally, you)